tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-221955170057970452024-03-12T20:18:17.460-07:00Fireballs Personal Life EventsStories of my life from the past, present and futureSemifadedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15851446195306227151noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22195517005797045.post-47503817593594881162016-06-16T12:56:00.000-07:002016-06-16T13:45:32.362-07:00You Say Goodbye, and I Say HelloI woke up early yesterday morning and drove our new minivan to the hospital at 3:50am because my wife told me she was having a baby. At 4:05 we pulled into the parking lot. At 4:24am, Marina Clare Yeen-Wai Flores, entered this world the same way I plan on leaving it, buck naked kicking and screaming.<br />
I guess the rumors are true that the second labor is quick, she went flying out of the uterus like minority at a Trump rally, being pulled out by the head and bloodied. At 7lbs 5oz she is 8% bigger than her big sister was at this point in her career. Wife was a champ. She and the baby doing great.<br />
By my count, that will be two baby's and two Warriors Championships in two years. I guess I'll have to go for the threepeat next year....<br />
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Unfortunately, she came about a week too late to meet her great grandmother who recently passed away at 98 and change. Thankfully, in the last two years, Nama was able to enjoy her four other great grandchildren.<br />
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She grew up in a time that we've seen in movies but will never be able to fully understand. She was born towards the end of WW (one of twelve siblings) and survived the Japanese occupation in WW2. After the war she was in the kitchen cooking at a party for Florentino Molina, a WW2 veteran. Florentino was looking for a wife and this party was filled with single women. He went into the kitchen and met my grandmother. He spent the rest of the night talking with her and proposed that night. She didn't give him a straight answer, so he left flowers at her door every day after. A month later they were married. <br />
Shortly after, they moved to America. She loved America as much as she hated Jehovah's Witnesses ringing her doorbell. She began working for the Post Office at the ripe young age of 50 and didn't retire until she was 88. During her prime she memorized every zip code in California and many others throughout the country. She would probably still be working if she didn't need to take care of her husband his last couple years. Even in her last days she could still recite most zip codes. <br />
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She was witty with a good sense of humor. Here's a few recent things I remember her saying:<br />
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When the news came out about Bill Cosby I asked her when it all happened and she said to me, "probably a long time ago, he's too old to be raping."<br />
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We were at Kamakura and the old lady owner that's been there for ages hobbled over to nama and asked her how old she was.<br />
Nama, "I am 95. How old are you?"<br />
Kamakura Lady, "I am 88."<br />
Nama, "oh, you're so young!"<br />
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She never forgot her family and friends back home. She sent money, boxes of clothes and food to the Philippines every month until her last. She went peacefully in her home of 51 years in Alameda, purchased for 10k, surrounded by friends and family. The night before her final rest she was still sharp as a tac. I hope Marina will have as fullfilling a life as her great grandmother. The only sad thing is, Nama won't be here to see Donald Trump appoint Judge Judy to the Supreme Court. She loved Judge Judy.<br />
This only scratches the surface of her life story.<br />
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We will bury her next month in the Arlington Cemetary alongside her husband. She is survived by her 3 children, 9 grandchildren, now 5 great grandchildren, and all her other family members, their children, and grandchildren that she helped bring to America. <br />
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Her is a slideshow from her funeral that hopefully captures a lot of her happiest moments... I had to change the music for this version because of youtube's stupid copyright laws (good thing they can't block me from the title of this blog). Make sure you click hd option.<br />
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<br />Semifadedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15851446195306227151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22195517005797045.post-43917338854508403972013-03-13T15:44:00.000-07:002013-04-30T22:45:49.493-07:00Playa Del Carmen He Llegado!<br />
After living in the Bay Area for almost 5 decades I packed my fudge and moved my life to Playa Del Carmen. This was the most impromptu decisions I’ve ever made. Everything has been working out thus far so it’s all good. The weather is warm and water is perfect temperature I've been swimming every day and have yet to be hit by a Gringo on a jet ski. The best part is that I’m not a celebrity down here yet, so I don’t need to always be looking over my shoulder for people to avoid that I don’t want to talk to.<br />
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Actual Photo Not Taken in Playa Del Carmen</td></tr>
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And don’t worry; I haven’t had any trouble with the drug cartels. It’s not like the Wire. It’s pretty safe downtown. The closest thing to a strapped kid standing on the corner slinging rock is me standing on the corner, guns loaded, showing people where the beach is.<br />
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Sorry no photos yet because I don’t have someone to hold the camera to take majestic pictures of me on the playa. And I don’t want to ask one of the Mexicans to take it for me because they’ll probably steal my camera.<br />
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I will be accepting visitors after Lent. Hit me up for reservations.<br />
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Semifadedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15851446195306227151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22195517005797045.post-17364117835104125842013-03-13T15:42:00.001-07:002013-03-14T12:55:44.717-07:00First Car I Purchased<br />
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I bought a condo in Vegas and had been spending a fair
amount of time there for work. Instead of having to get a rental each time, my
friend and I decided to purchase a cheap car that we could leave at the
complex. We searched on craigslist and ended up buying it from this chick who
was selling all her recently deceased fathers belongings. We negotiated the
price of $1,000. She also let us go through her father’s house and pick out
anything we wanted. I came away with some rice, a bag of MSG and one of those
arm extender trash grabber thingy’s. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We were stoked. We got a decent price on a jalopy and some
extra goodies. When it was time to head back to the YAY I left the car in the
garage and jumped a flight home. A few days later I get a call from the HOA
asking me if it’s my car. I confirm. They complain to me about the appearance
of the car. I’m sure residents were complaining to management that there was
this kicker parked near them. A few days later I get another call from HOA and
the guy is telling me I have to move it because it’s leaking oil all over the
place. I try to explain to him that I won’t be down there for another month and
he says, “I understand bro but it’s like Z to the Y to the Z that I might have
to move it before.” Yes he really said that. I didn’t realize people actually
talk like that. <o:p></o:p></div>
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A couple months later I return to Vegas and my car is gone.
I call the towing company to ask how much it will cost to get my car back. At
$50 a day the price to get it back is more than the car is worth. I just said
forget it and considered it a bad beat. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Funny thing is though, I never had a chance to get it
registered so I wonder if the next time that girl went to the DMV they harassed
her about a huge fee she’d racked up on her old car.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Semifadedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15851446195306227151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22195517005797045.post-40412736880030650662013-03-13T15:42:00.000-07:002013-03-15T09:58:21.366-07:00The Balloon That Created A Legend<br />
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This happened when I was in second grade:<br />
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My Family and I
were at a back to school night. After it was over I was on the blacktop running
around. My parents were yelling at us to get in the car because we were leaving.
I was planning on heading back to the car once I caught the balloon I’d been
chasing. It was dark and I was running full speed with my eyes fixed on the red
balloon when smack. I ran straight into a metal pole about head high. One of
those poles meant to keep cars out. I headed back to the car with my shoulder
aching. But my pride ached worse for letting that damn balloon getaway. My Dad
spanked me for making them wait and told me to get in. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I woke up the next morning and told my Mom my shoulder still
hurt and she reluctantly brought me to the Doctors. I was diagnosed with a
broken collar bone. You might be thinking that this story is about how tough I
am. But the real story began after my arm healed. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I was always a good swimmer but I don’t think anyone thought
I was a world beater. I liked Breastroke because it was the easiest and hated Butterfly
because it was tiring. This all changed when my arm healed. When started
swimming again I was flying, no pun intended. I just felt so fast. From that
day forward, until my retirement many years ago, people have been in awe of my
speed. Except for those select few that were faster.<o:p></o:p><br />
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The one time I remember from when I was kid was an 8-under 14.99 25 Fly.</div>
Semifadedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15851446195306227151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22195517005797045.post-49297397591764162072013-01-04T11:22:00.001-08:002013-01-23T14:41:55.310-08:00Goodbye 2012, Hello 2013Welcome to the first post of my second blog. If you are looking to improve yourself and don't care to read about me an my personal life, then read my other blog:<br />
<a href="http://bayaniflores.blogspot.com/2011/09/gay-marriage-solution.html#more">http://bayaniflores.blogspot.com/2011/09/gay-marriage-solution.html#more</a><br />
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Most people use New Years and Birthdays to reflect on the past year. That means most people are sad twice a year because each reflection reminds them how little they have progressed in life. Good thing for me I only need to reflect once because I was born on January 4th. I can surmise 2012 and my 24th year at the same time. Here's a few memories from 2012:<br />
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In the beginning of the year the Woman and I took a trip to Iceland. The main purpose of the trip was to see the Northern Lights but the clouds did not abide. We went to a Troll museum instead. Yes, they really believe in Trolls there. Björk has confirmed this in several interviews. Good thing the seafood was amazing. More on this trip: <a href="http://fireballstravels.blogspot.com/2013/01/reykjavic-iceland-2012.html">Iceland 2012</a><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our team of 3 goalies and 4 field players</td></tr>
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The most relaxing week I had all year was in Riccione, Italy. A small beach town on the Adriatic where the Water Polo Masters World Championships were held. Every day we would wake up around 9am, grab breakfast and ride bikes up to the pool. We’d play one game then stuff ourselves for lunch and spend the rest of the afternoon drinking wine on the patio of our hotel on the beach. The Hungarians would be drinking vodka. During this time I would often hand out spankings in chess to the Croatians and Hungarians. I was able to translate “Whoop Ass” for them.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LDQzFKZIch4/UOH79uk7XYI/AAAAAAAABEY/0KQIOatqINA/s1600/Team+Bonding+in+the+fountain+at+the+opening+ceremonies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-LDQzFKZIch4/UOH79uk7XYI/AAAAAAAABEY/0KQIOatqINA/s400/Team+Bonding+in+the+fountain+at+the+opening+ceremonies.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We decided to cool down on a warm night at the opening ceremonies.<br />
We are in the fountain facing the stage. </td></tr>
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I decided that I worked hard during the tournament so I spent another 6 weeks in Europe. I got to spend time with some of my foreign ex-swimmer buddies, the GF, my Moms, and some other friends who happened to be travelling at the same time. The only time I was actually alone during the trip was 2 days in Venice. Ironic huh?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3k-Q4eYTLaM/UONJTTV0nII/AAAAAAAABEw/rI3lEq14q6E/s1600/Me+and+Mom+Ponte+Vecchio+cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="254" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3k-Q4eYTLaM/UONJTTV0nII/AAAAAAAABEw/rI3lEq14q6E/s320/Me+and+Mom+Ponte+Vecchio+cropped.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and Mom's and Ponte Vecchio. As you can see<br />
I grew my hair out so I fit in with the greasy Italians</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">After a long hike relaxing with some succo di limona e arrancia</td></tr>
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The cities I visited (Riccione, Rimini, San Marino, Florence, Venice, Stockholm, Copenhagen, Warsaw, Krakow, Auschwitz, Birkinau, Tarnow, Madrid, Barcelona, Utrecht, Den Haag, Rotterdam, Houton, Leewarden, Pisa, Cinque Terra (Riomaggiore, Manarola, Corniglia, Vernezza, Monterroso)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The famous Mermaid in Copenhagen</td></tr>
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After all that travel I needed some time to relax so I took a couple short trips to Tahoe, Vegas and camping. After about a month off I felt refreshed enough to go on another vacation. I headed to Africa with the Woman, 7 other chicks, the tour guide, and our chef for a month long safari. We literally camped for a month. The wild life was amazing and we had a good time with some of the locals. Watching the American females interact with each other was also entertaining.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hanging with my Gorilla buddy in the rainforest<br />
on the Uganda Rwanda boarder</td></tr>
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Those were the most notable memories of 2012. On top of that I had the yearly routine of trips to Tahoe, Vegas, camping, bachelor parties, weddings, and unfortunately funerals.<br />
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On the relationship front things were good. Like every relationships there's ups and downs. At first I thought the ups and downs were random until I began to notice a pattern where we’d fight at the end of every month like clockwork. I don’t believe in coincidences so I’m currently formulating different theories of why this might be.<br />
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I spent about 3 months studying Italian so I’d be able to order Lasagna when I was in Italy.<br />
I started studying Mandarin. That language is hard.<br />
I went into one of the gas chambers in Auschwitz.<br />
The Mayans were wrong.<br />
Other than that the Olympics were entertaining, Obama is back, and there was another School Massacre.<br />
All of which were blog worthy:<br />
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<a href="http://bayaniflores.blogspot.com/2012/08/london-olympics-2012-8-more-awards-for.html">My Take on the Olympics</a><br />
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<a href="http://bayaniflores.blogspot.com/2012/12/massacre-in-connecticut.html">Massacre in Connecticut</a><br />
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<a href="http://bayaniflores.blogspot.com/2012/11/why-obama-was-best-choice-again.html">Why we need a black president</a><br />
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<a href="http://bayaniflores.blogspot.com/2012/12/end-of-world.html">End of the World</a><br />
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<b>Sports:</b><br />
On the sports front it’s been an exciting year.<br />
My 49ers are finally entering a new Era with Kaepernick. After 6 years of ineptitude and one playoff appearance in the Alex Smith regime, I am excited for a return to excellence.<br />
Giants got lucky and won another world series. I have been a Giants fan my whole life but there is something anti-climactic about winning 2 World Series on the backs of journey men that were found off the scrap heap and then discarded back to said heap.<br />
The Warriors look like they might become not crappy in the near future.<br />
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<b>Best Quote: </b>We pulled our truck over and were having dinner on the side of the road somewhere in Uganda. I kept telling the Woman to drink more water or else she'd get dehydrated. She was basically telling me to F-off. Our cook then said to her, "you should obey him".<br />
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<b>Biggest Irony:</b> Went to my protégés bachelor party in Talladega, Alabama. Funny thing is I felt more like a foreigner there than anywhere else I visited. 3 days/nights inside the track I did not see one non-white person. Some of my friends say they saw an Indian but that was never confirmed.<br />
<a href="http://bayaniflores.blogspot.com/2012/05/talladega-superspeedway-5-things.html">More on my Talladega trip if you're interested</a><br />
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<b>Best Movie:</b> Safety Not Guaranteed<br />
<b>Worst Movie:</b> Drive<br />
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<b>Biggest Accomplishment:</b> Starting a 12 team keeper league and winning the inaugural season.<br />
<b>Biggest Disappointment:</b> I was in Stockholm when Matt Cain pitched his perfecto.<br />
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<b>Best Call: </b>My post world series 2010 blog when I said the Giants must trade Tim Lincecum.<br />
<b>Best FB post (well the best one off the top of my head at least):</b> Dear A"s fans please keep the noise to a minimum. the A's are not used to having fans at the game. All their walk offs came in an empty stadium<br />
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Favorite Pictures:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-la4nU1KIUD8/UOaZx7bImAI/AAAAAAAABNo/iQ6IiKg4zE4/s1600/dulles+airport.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-la4nU1KIUD8/UOaZx7bImAI/AAAAAAAABNo/iQ6IiKg4zE4/s400/dulles+airport.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Breaking in my new sleeping bag at the airport during a long layover to Kenya</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-b3VkL9KpwBw/UOHyrqMHOoI/AAAAAAAABEI/nzwKqzDx-uU/s1600/Creepy+Man+cropped2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="220" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-b3VkL9KpwBw/UOHyrqMHOoI/AAAAAAAABEI/nzwKqzDx-uU/s400/Creepy+Man+cropped2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In the Grotto of the Blue Lagoon hot springs. Caught the creepy guy<br />
on camera checking us out. </td></tr>
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All in all it was a good year. And most importantly my friends and family are all doing well.<br />
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<b>What’s up for 2013?</b><br />
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I'm starting two more blogs this year. While <a href="http://bayaniflores.blogspot.com/2012/10/movies-that-were-actors-that-werent.html">Fireball’s Guide to Life</a> is to help my readers improve their lives, these next two will be more personal and travel. All throughout my teens and early 20’s my friends and I used to do some pretty crazy funny stuff. As each year passes I forget a few of these stories. Eventually I will just be an old man who barely remembers what young mischievous Bayani was like. I’m going to write about personal experiences, travel, events and random stories.<br />
It’s an archive for me. You are welcome to read because I’m sure you will find it entertaining. If you want to read more about my travels you can check out my travel blog where I will give more detailed accounts of my trips.<br />
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I am planning on going to Water Polo tournament in Hungary and another one in Hong Kong. Hopefully I can get some vacationing done before and after these tournaments. I want to make a stop in Thailand because you can get custom tailored dress shirts for $50.<br />
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Here's to 2013!<br />
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Semifadedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15851446195306227151noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22195517005797045.post-91090722785319741862013-01-01T13:25:00.002-08:002013-01-01T13:25:55.975-08:00Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Me<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QYMieNVXMGs/TinFQx6c98I/AAAAAAAAACI/ONJr_EmVGv8/s1600/Me+and+Chocolate+Boy+%25282%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QYMieNVXMGs/TinFQx6c98I/AAAAAAAAACI/ONJr_EmVGv8/s320/Me+and+Chocolate+Boy+%25282%2529.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">Me and my chocolate Belgium friend (and no I'm not being racist)</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">Admiring the view in Uruguay</td></tr>
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I figure it is about time to update this. I read my last about me for the first time in years and I realized it comes off a little arrogant. So I'm going to temper this one and let you know a little more updated version of what's going on with my life in this post Rapture world.<br />
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Well first off I opened a restaurant a few years ago, Meridian International Sports Cafe. I nurtured her for several years and now I sold her. I would have liked for it to have been more successful but at the same time it's nice to not have her tying me down. I'm looking forward to having more time for traveling, LARP-ing and catching fly's with chopsticks.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">I'll pick you up at 8</td></tr>
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I usually find myself only updating my this after a long relationship so I figure why stop now. Andre 2000 said it best "if what they say is nothing last forever then what makes, then what makes, then what makes love the exception?". I have had five 1.5 year plus relationships. So that means I'm either good at commitment or bad at commitment, I've been told both, you be the judge. Either way I am good at relationships because I know how to compromise. So take notes rookies because I'm going to tell you the secret of how to make the perfect compromise. Simply put, a perfect compromise is reached when both of you are unhappy. It's too bad relationships aren't like phone plans. Wouldn't it be great if you could get an upgrade every two years?<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3jPIkGuetvs/TinKHtSTpmI/AAAAAAAAACM/LC4g4fr5feQ/s1600/Posing+Machu+Pichu.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3jPIkGuetvs/TinKHtSTpmI/AAAAAAAAACM/LC4g4fr5feQ/s320/Posing+Machu+Pichu.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">Gay or Hot?</td></tr>
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I have been contemplating my next business venture. I'm thinking about maybe opening a restaurant exact opposite of Hooters and I can call it Bulges. However if I were to do this I foresee my sexuality being questioned for the rest of my life. I'm sure the fact that I can't decide whether I'm team Edward or team Jacob doesn't help.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">Practicing my machete skills should the zombie apocalypse come</td></tr>
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I know how to fortify a house for a class 2 zombie attack (although my roommate won't let me, draw back of living with a chick). However a class 3 attack only God can help us.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">Barry Bonds 500th stolen base and walkoff</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">Taking my 74-Z Speeder for a cruise</td></tr>
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Things I would ask my maker at the gates of Heaven:<br />
Did you plant all those bones/fossils just to test our faith?<br />
How do you correctly fold a fitted sheet?<br />
Why do women pay less for car insurance when everyone and their mothers know they are worse drivers?<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">Speaking to the man upstairs</td></tr>
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Why do they always chose the worst picture for Wikipedia?<br />
Should Babe Ruth have an asterisks next to his name because he didn't have to hit against pitchers on steroids?<br />
Are friends really your friends if they only call you on long drives or waiting at the airport?<br />
Am I bad person if watching Dexter kinda makes me want to be a serial killer?<br />
Who has had a bigger impact on my life. Girlfriends that you spend every day with for a couple years and are gone forever or a friend that you hang out with once a month for 50 years?<br />
Do I have a small bladder or is it because I drink too much water?<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">Literally taking out my anger on Italy<br />
Things that grind my gears:</td></tr>
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People under 5'2 that carry umbrellas<br />
When you burn the roof of your mouth and have that little clitoris hanging above your tongue for a few days<br />
Trying to get that 4th corner of my bed sheet down by myself<br />
Arguing with a significant other and then asking them what they want me to do and they say "Do What Makes You Happy"<br />
Hugh Grant, Tyler Perry, Bruno Mars (not necessarily in that order)<br />
At gay pride parades when I tell someone dressed like a police officer they look fabulous only to find out they are a real police officer.<br />
The over analyzation of sports<br />
People that don't know how to use the word literally<br />
The corporate ran US government that we call democracy.<br />
When girls choose to cry during arguments.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"> Uruguayan Ghetto</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-h_oX4ycMlAU/TinOL1avF4I/AAAAAAAAACQ/Qr0uYDOyYVk/s1600/Prom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="216" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-h_oX4ycMlAU/TinOL1avF4I/AAAAAAAAACQ/Qr0uYDOyYVk/s320/Prom.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">All dressed up for prom</td></tr>
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I could be a billionaire right now because I thought of Facebook before Mark Zuckerberg. I remember being on MySpace one day and saying to myself, "I should invent another social networking site that does the same thing except doesn't suck." I also had the idea for the Dyson vacuum before it was invented. I remember vacuuming my room one day and saying to myself, "I should invent a vacuum that actually works." Don't even get me started on the Snuggy.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-exihaPLqNUQ/TinD1L8-FEI/AAAAAAAAABg/0-d0dmqCygY/s1600/Me+Ray+Erin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-exihaPLqNUQ/TinD1L8-FEI/AAAAAAAAABg/0-d0dmqCygY/s320/Me+Ray+Erin.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">Beautiful Puerto Vallarta Wedding, Beautiful People</td></tr>
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People tell me I remind them of Stephen Colbert</div>
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People also tell me I remind them of Larry David</div>
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I do not treat objects like women</div>
It's Raining Men is my favorite song to karaoke<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">800 Free Relay Taking the Country by Storm from Console Heat</td></tr>
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I went to London a few years ago and I left with a few lingering questions. Isn't it ironic that the British have such bad teeth and the worst food? Wouldn't you think that the country with the best food would have the worst teeth? I dunno just seems counter intuitive to me. Also the smallest bill in the UK is 5 pounds which is equal to $10. So either the strippers are millionaires or they wear fanny packs for the change guys give them.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">Coffin Shopping at the British Open</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;">Coaching my girls to victory</td></tr>
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I have been on earth almost a half century and in my advanced age I am thinking about becoming a life coach or an old wise man that answers questions with more questions. If you would like to solicit my services shoot me a message.<br />
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I only have one more goal in life; and that is to have a bust of myself at the entrance of my mansion. Other than that I want what all men want. I want more....<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">75 mile bike ride around Lake Tahoe</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">Unwinding after a long day of Boarding</td></tr>
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Semifadedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15851446195306227151noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22195517005797045.post-36212309115710267412013-01-01T13:13:00.000-08:002013-01-01T13:30:20.411-08:00Why you should join my blog<br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Want a delicious meal without all the calories?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Looking to shave a few strokes off your handicap?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Wish no more. Simply joining my blog will make all your troubles go away. You are probably subscribed to plenty of garbage sights that you never/rarely use. Travel, food, clothes, electronic deals are probably flooding your email box as we speak. Most of these cause you to waste your money, time and make you feel worse once the initial purchase high has passed. I cannot promise you any deals like free shipping or 10% off a bunch of crap you don't need. What I offer isn't tangible and does not carry a price tag. I offer perspective and peace of mind which is priceless and never comes with buyer's remorse. I weed through all the BS in the world and tell you what you need to know (pretty much the exact opposite of Fox news). This is not one of those trite mundane blogs where I share the lame and boring details of everyday life. You will laugh, you will cry, but most importantly you feel. I will improve your life by sharing with you my sagacious omniscient knowledge of the world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BChLrosV5NM/TjdYfQWK4JI/AAAAAAAAAGw/XI1gGkF7RiU/s1600/morpheus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; color: #7c93a1; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-decoration: initial;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BChLrosV5NM/TjdYfQWK4JI/AAAAAAAAAGw/XI1gGkF7RiU/s320/morpheus.jpg" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0980392) 1px 1px 5px; border: 1px solid rgb(238, 238, 238); box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0980392) 1px 1px 5px; padding: 5px; position: relative;" width="226" /></a><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I appreciate any comments. Ask me any questions about relationships, sports, health anything. I take requests on anything you would like to hear me rant about. I will do a dear Bayani column. I probably won't tell you what you want to hear but I will tell you what you need to hear. It's like Morpheus said "there's a difference between knowing the path and walking it." </span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">God has given me a gift and I intend to share it with the world. Please help me with the Lords work by sharing this with your friends via email, facebook, twitter, or carrier pigeon. My goal is to get 2.3 billion viewers. </span></div>
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Semifadedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15851446195306227151noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22195517005797045.post-40313987458886136462013-01-01T13:10:00.003-08:002013-01-01T13:10:31.868-08:00Shower Kings Shower Secrets<br />
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<b>4 Tips to Showering success:</b><br /><br />Skip this section if you don't care about me and want to get straight to the tips. <br />I was known as the Shower King in college, one of many nicknames. And as the Shower King I am here to share tips and secrets I have picked up throughout the years. But let me first give you a little taste of my shower roots.<br /><a href="" name="more"></a></div>
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As a kid most of my shower life was spent in the locker room after swim practice. We used to have soap fights and make soap bubbles (those of you that swam should know what I'm talking about). With experienced soap bubblers we could easily make 100 square feet plus bubbles. I then moved on to more mature things once I got into college. I don't want to get too into detail but one of the things we would do is soap each other up and practice sliding across the floor for distance. I would usually skip weights to get an extra hour of practice.</div>
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<br /><br /><br /><b>Tip: 1</b></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11px; text-align: center;">Got My Loofah, Shower Time!</td></tr>
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If you are a closet homosexual and do not want to rouse any suspicion do not use a loofah. Only chicks (see below), foreigners (not pictured), homosexuals (see right), or any combination of the three (use your imagination) use loofahs. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay. I love gay people, in a strictly heterosexual way that is. This is just a tip if you would like to keep it a secret because of our prejudice society. But don't worry I am in the process of writing a blog that will help change the perception of homosexuals in this country. </div>
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<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><b>Tip: 2</b> (If you are not over the age of 18 or under the age of 55 skip to tip 3)</div>
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Everyone knows that guys flog the dolphin in the shower. Even though this is true, this is something no one wants to hear about and more importantly no one wants to encounter any residual evidence. So make sure when you're exorcising the bishop you aim down. Shooting against the tiling with the intention of washing is not a good plan. You might do a bad job of cleaning it off the walls and there's a good chance it gets lost like in Something About Mary (if this happens make sure to check to the loofah).<br /></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11px;">Couldn't get the roommate to take this picture in the shower</td></tr>
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There are several effective techniques that can assure there are no residuals discovered by some lucky person. My favorite technique is: right before I finish I get into the Downward Facing Dog position (for those of you who don't do yoga see picture left). Although this is universally agreed as the most effective technique there are plenty of others that will suffice (message me if you would like other choices) .</div>
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As for women; the exact opposite is true. You can make noise, talk about it, and rub it all over the walls if you like.</div>
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<br /><br /><br /><br /><b>Tip 3:</b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vOE7XQ_mIso/TjnOkjVgbrI/AAAAAAAAAH0/YBX3U3dvMcQ/s1600/IMG_0429.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; color: #7c93a1; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-decoration: initial;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vOE7XQ_mIso/TjnOkjVgbrI/AAAAAAAAAH0/YBX3U3dvMcQ/s320/IMG_0429.jpg" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0980392) 0px 0px 0px; background-color: transparent; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: none; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0980392) 0px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative;" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11px; text-align: center;">Check out those beautiful flowing locks of hair<br />I was going to cut Ray out of this picture<br />but he is such a good looking man</td></tr>
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Use less hair products. You're hair does not need to be cleaned every day. I rarely wash my hair nor have I used any gel/spray since prom in '82. I have the longest, thickest, most beautifulist hair. People would kill for my volume. Back in the day no one used hair products and all the guys had long vibrant hair. Look at the pictures of our founding fathers flowing locks (well Benjamin Franklin was balding up front but he was also struck by lightning several times). And how many bald cowboys do you know? I rest my case. Nowadays a lot of people start losing their hair in their 20's. So do what I do, shampoo your hair twice a week and throw out all those metro products.</div>
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<tr><td><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-L_KclUiBXPs/TjnNrIThoLI/AAAAAAAAAHs/AwB0tg2eLg8/s1600/IMG_1779.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="color: #7c93a1; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-decoration: initial;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-L_KclUiBXPs/TjnNrIThoLI/AAAAAAAAAHs/AwB0tg2eLg8/s320/IMG_1779.JPG" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0980392) 0px 0px 0px; background-color: transparent; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: none; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0980392) 0px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative;" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11px;">Hmmm Loofa or Bar?</td></tr>
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<br /><br /><br /><b>Tip 4:</b></div>
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Once you have decided that you are in the mood for an hour long shower in the locker room it is important to have company to play shower games with. Hence forth it is imperative to make sure your fellow showerees stay the whole time. So when you see someone getting ready to turn off the shower, turn to the soap dispenser and get a handful of liquid soap, after they turn off their shower and begin to exit, throw the soap and hit them right in the back. They will laugh, get back in the shower to rinse off and then when they exit do it again. Everyone loves a guy/gal with a sense of humor.</div>
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<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Well I hope you found this helpful. Feel free to share this blog and the tips you have learned with your friends (posting this on your facebook or twitter would be wonderful). As always I appreciate your comments and questions. Don't forget to join before you leave!</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-w_AvUBSJLjo/TjnQPXtslnI/AAAAAAAAAIM/S8aF_VHNozU/s1600/IMG_1782.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; color: #7c93a1; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-decoration: initial;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-w_AvUBSJLjo/TjnQPXtslnI/AAAAAAAAAIM/S8aF_VHNozU/s320/IMG_1782.JPG" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0980392) 0px 0px 0px; background-color: transparent; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: none; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0980392) 0px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative;" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11px; text-align: center;">Bar Soap of course!</td></tr>
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<tr><td><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kIfaoGm2b9M/TjnM0Dctp-I/AAAAAAAAAHg/PDWNvKtcyPM/s1600/images+%25285%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="color: #7c93a1; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-decoration: initial;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kIfaoGm2b9M/TjnM0Dctp-I/AAAAAAAAAHg/PDWNvKtcyPM/s320/images+%25285%2529.jpg" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0980392) 0px 0px 0px; background-color: transparent; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: none; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0980392) 0px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative;" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 11px;">Just thought you'd wanna see this chick again</td></tr>
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<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><b>Bonus Tip:</b></div>
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Here's a problem that 28% of Americans suffer from. After getting clean in the shower, you exit, dry off, get dressed and inevitably start sweating again because you're still hot from the shower; if you're one of those people that wears pants and/or long sleeve shirts I really feel for you. Here's the solution to this problem. About one minute before you get out of the shower turn the cold water up. It doesn't need to be frore but should be a little algid. Now stand up from the downward facing dog, relax and soak in the cool refreshing water. This time after you dry off and get dressed you won't be sweating and will be feeling as cool and confident as someone in a Supercuts commercial . You're Welcome!<br /><div style="margin: 0px;">
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Semifadedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15851446195306227151noreply@blogger.com0